My Dad's Eulogy

My dad passed away on 21 Aug 2012. It has taught me so much- life, death, pain, love, forgiveness, anxiety, fear, hope, God. It had been the longest 1 month of my life, from the time he was diagnosed with Burkitt's lymphoma in Mt Alvernia Hospital, the trip back to Penang, the two weeks in Tg Bungah, the wake at Church of the Immaculate Conception, the funeral mass presided by the new Bishop of Penang (his first ever funeral mass as a bishop), the cremation at Mt Erskine and the final resting place of his 'ashes' at Kelawei Road. It was a most painful period of my life.....inevitable but necesssary. Grief is really a small price to pay for loving. As long s we are in a loving relationship, we will grief. We will lose our parents as they grow old, regardless.
I am just grateful that my dad lived to a ripe old age of 89-years-old, longer than most other people. I also see it as a bonus period of 5 years. You see, my dad should have died 5 years ago when he suffered a near-fatal brainstem stroke. It did not take his life but it did leave him totally disabled- right-sided paralysis, bedridden, tube-fed, dually incontinent (of urine and stools) and dependent on others for all his activities of daily living. Worse of all, he was aware and lucid but lost his ability to talk and therefore, express himself. It must be a living hell for him; a total loss of dignity as well for, given terribly shy and private personality, he depended on another for his bathing and cleaning after soiling himself in diapers.
I am really thankful to God for giving me that 5 extra years to be with my dad, who suffered the stroke while visiting me in Singapore. He did manage to make a few trips back to Penang thereafter, the last one being just prior to his death, in Nov 2011 when he celebrated his 50th wedding anniversary at Marie- Orphile, Penang. The following was his eulogy:

23rd August, 2012.

                             EULOGY of The Late Peter Low Lam Kim

 

 

Our family is deeply moved and touched by the presence of so many people here today. We would like to thank Your Grace, Bishop Sebastian Francis for celebrating Mass for our father, Peter Low Lam Kim. We are also deeply grateful to Emeritus Archbishop Soter Fernandez, Father Gerard, Father Julian, Father Michael Cheah, Emeritus Bishop Anthony Selvanayagam, the seminarians, the BEC prayer group for being there for us

in this hour of need. We wish to thank God for our father Peter Low Lam Kim and for giving him to us for nearly 89 years. 

My father started life as a simple fisherman in Telok Ayer Tawar, Butterworth during his teenage years. Together with his elder brother, they used a small “sampan” to do their work – a secret that our father revealed many years ago – he and his brother could not swim and did not wear life jackets. And so as fate would have it, a few priests from College General chanced upon my father in the mid 1950’s, hauling in the catch for the

day, when they asked him to come work at College General. He agreed, came to work at Kelawei Road, was converted and christened most appropriately, Peter. He was then match-made to my mother and the rest is history.

My father worked at College General in Kelawei Road, just a stone’s throw away from here and then at Marie Ophille for nearly half a century, seeing many seminarians come and go, from around the region in the early years, many of them becoming priests and a few of them bishops.

And what was he doing at College General? A humble servant setting up the tables for the seminarians, washing the dishes, doing some gardening, sweeping the floors. Our father in his lifetime taught us patience, kindness, humility, self-sacrifice and most importantly…… unconditional love. He was a man of few words but his actions spoke louder than words. He was an excellent father, dedicated to his work at College General, it was his 2^nd home. He was proud of his work and he loved the seminarians dearly.  

Among the names he was affectionately called were “Monakus”, “Ah Pek” and “Papa Lam Kim”. My father worked until he was 80 years old and finally retired from College General. Unfortunately, 4 years later he suffered a catastrophic stroke rendering him speechless, unable to swallow and severely paralysed on the right side of his body. He became totally

dependent for all his activities and required tube-feeding. This was a cross for him to bear for the next 5 years. It was made worse by the fact that he was aware and cognitively intact throughout the 5 years.

The cancer that finally took his life was diagnosed only 3 weeks ago. It was aggressive and fast growing. God was merciful because his real suffering lasted only a short duration. Which brings us to the present. We thank God for the extra time that He gave our father to us. 89 years old is more than the normal life expectancy. Nonetheless, we will miss our dear father…… but he continues to live in our hearts and the sweet memories will never die.

We know too that he is waiting at heaven’s door and that one day we will be re-united in that sweet somewhere in union with Jesus Christ Our Lord and Saviour, along with all those who have gone before us.      Thank you.