The greatest gift that one can give to anybody else is to lay down one's life for somebody else. To rephrase it, the greatest gift that one can give to another is life itself. And so for many patients awaiting the gift of life- an organ, a kidney, a heart, a liver, lie at a fork in their life's paths. One path has death as its destiny, the other has hope marked along the way. Waiting on death row, hoping for a reprieve.
We were moved today by a story of a young budding journalist who received the gift of a kidney from her brother. In this case however, it was a living donor, a perfectly healthy person. Agreed, it takes lots of guts but then again love conquers all.
The HOTA may on the surface appear draconian and cruel. Unfortunately, it has been surfaced for the wrong reasons- adverse publicity focusing only on the negative aspects of this law. We must think for a moment of those many on 'death row' hoping and praying for that gift of life. Most are young, some in the prime of life, all wishing for just that one extra day of precious life. Their families too, praying and hoping and wishing.
The greatest legacy that we can leave behind is that gift of life. In dying we would have given life to somebody else. Part of us lives on in another person. Imagine and contemplate that. Otherwise at death, our bodies and organs corrupt and wastes away anyway.
HOTA gives us the opportunity to make that last act of kindness and give the greatest gift of all, the gift of life.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Booms, Bubbles and Busts
There is a sense of wealth in the air of late. Property prices are skyrocketing. En bloc sales are making millionnaires out of ordinary folks in double quick time. The stock market is shooting for the stars. People are receving fatter bonuses and pay rises this year. It is the golden age, after all. The streets of Singapore are paved with gold, it seems. Just one precious square foot of land costs thousands of dollars.
My friend just received a windfall of $2mil for her HUDC flat. She, quite wisely, has stopped working. Yet another colleague sold his apartment last year via an en bloc sale only to find the prices appreciating this year. Needless to say, they are now taking the sales committee to task for not doing their job well and causing them to 'lose' money, money which was not theirs yet.
The stock market is another place where money is to be made. Records are being broken with each passing week as the STI breaches new peaks. Any fool can lay claim to being an investor par excellence. Just throw your money on any counter and it is bound to go up. Throw caution to the wind. Even as I spoke to some of my clients in the office, their hanphones would ring. Equation, Rowsley- buy! Never heard of this companies before. What on earth do they deal with- I ask my clients and they're just as clueless.
Greed, fear, anxiety- these are some of the emotions that drive the stock market. It's all about herd psychology and herd emotions. Materialism, consumerism, self-centredness, hedonisitc pursuits are the spin-offs.
Sometimes one asks what is the meaning of accumulating riches when we all know that these are only temporary and do not last- transient. I work in an area where life and death are in a precarious balance. When the scales are tipped and one's time is up, we can bring nothing along with us. We lose everything.
Wealth is not an end in itself but a means towards an end. It should be used to do good. With our wealth we can show generosity, kindness, humility and love. We use wealth to bring comfort, hope and happiness to those we love and those we may not be acquainted with. We must use wealth and money for the betterment of mankind. As the great John Powell once said, 'Don't love money and use people but love people, use money (things)'.
My friend just received a windfall of $2mil for her HUDC flat. She, quite wisely, has stopped working. Yet another colleague sold his apartment last year via an en bloc sale only to find the prices appreciating this year. Needless to say, they are now taking the sales committee to task for not doing their job well and causing them to 'lose' money, money which was not theirs yet.
The stock market is another place where money is to be made. Records are being broken with each passing week as the STI breaches new peaks. Any fool can lay claim to being an investor par excellence. Just throw your money on any counter and it is bound to go up. Throw caution to the wind. Even as I spoke to some of my clients in the office, their hanphones would ring. Equation, Rowsley- buy! Never heard of this companies before. What on earth do they deal with- I ask my clients and they're just as clueless.
Greed, fear, anxiety- these are some of the emotions that drive the stock market. It's all about herd psychology and herd emotions. Materialism, consumerism, self-centredness, hedonisitc pursuits are the spin-offs.
Sometimes one asks what is the meaning of accumulating riches when we all know that these are only temporary and do not last- transient. I work in an area where life and death are in a precarious balance. When the scales are tipped and one's time is up, we can bring nothing along with us. We lose everything.
Wealth is not an end in itself but a means towards an end. It should be used to do good. With our wealth we can show generosity, kindness, humility and love. We use wealth to bring comfort, hope and happiness to those we love and those we may not be acquainted with. We must use wealth and money for the betterment of mankind. As the great John Powell once said, 'Don't love money and use people but love people, use money (things)'.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
The Great Housing Divide
Just after getting married, I lived in a 4-room HDB flat. This was for 10 years. I moved into a landed home some 6 years ago. I have now come to learn a fact of life in Singapore- that there is indeed a divide, a 'great' one at that, between the HDB heartlander and the private housing estate dweller. It is not about wealth or any material thing but something as basic as good neighbourliness. While there were some unpleasantness experienced in the flat, eg dripping mops, cigarette butts, etc (these were rare), life there was mostly congenial. The neighbours were decent and civil- exchanging greetings whenever we met each other whether in the lift or the common corridor. There was a lot of 'giving and taking'- noise, smells, cigarette smoke and what have you. Making that unexpected visit to a neighbour's flat or making appointments to meet at the void deck for a short chit chat was commonplace.
Moving to a private house was something we had always dreamt of for a long time- garden, driveway, not having to wait for lifts, having the postman deliver letters specailly for you, parking right at your doorstep, etc. One thing we didn't consider was the type of neighbours we were to have. What we saw was the ugly side of human nature- unfriendly stares, not even a smile or a nod, fighting over car park spaces, unhappiness over fallen leaves, car scratching, persistently barking neurotic dogs, calling of police for the smallest of reasons...the list goes on. The quietness on the surface belies the underlying animosity. The houses are fortified with 6-feet high walls, resembling fortresses. Neighbours are hidden from each others sight and consciously avoid each other so that you hardly see them getting into or out of their cars, even! Welcome to battleground Singapore. I am sure that there are many such neighbourhoods from hell.
I cannot understand what is to gain for such behaviour. No man can live as an island. We need good neighbourliness for one will never know when one may be in need of help or assistance from one's neighbours. In the past, we could always depend on our good neighbours to collect our mail for us, water our plants, look after our pets, etc (in another country) but now we daren't even look at our neighbours' faces. It's not about being kind or generous, it's really about being a normal human. Aren't we humans intrinsically good? Don't we usually care about our fellow pilgrims on this journey of life? Weren't we taught from young about why we must be kind, helpful, compassionate to others? Has this to do with the stress of modern living that has turned us into rats fighting for survival in this modern jungle? Is Singapore overcrowded? We need to do some soul-searching and reflection.
Moving to a private house was something we had always dreamt of for a long time- garden, driveway, not having to wait for lifts, having the postman deliver letters specailly for you, parking right at your doorstep, etc. One thing we didn't consider was the type of neighbours we were to have. What we saw was the ugly side of human nature- unfriendly stares, not even a smile or a nod, fighting over car park spaces, unhappiness over fallen leaves, car scratching, persistently barking neurotic dogs, calling of police for the smallest of reasons...the list goes on. The quietness on the surface belies the underlying animosity. The houses are fortified with 6-feet high walls, resembling fortresses. Neighbours are hidden from each others sight and consciously avoid each other so that you hardly see them getting into or out of their cars, even! Welcome to battleground Singapore. I am sure that there are many such neighbourhoods from hell.
I cannot understand what is to gain for such behaviour. No man can live as an island. We need good neighbourliness for one will never know when one may be in need of help or assistance from one's neighbours. In the past, we could always depend on our good neighbours to collect our mail for us, water our plants, look after our pets, etc (in another country) but now we daren't even look at our neighbours' faces. It's not about being kind or generous, it's really about being a normal human. Aren't we humans intrinsically good? Don't we usually care about our fellow pilgrims on this journey of life? Weren't we taught from young about why we must be kind, helpful, compassionate to others? Has this to do with the stress of modern living that has turned us into rats fighting for survival in this modern jungle? Is Singapore overcrowded? We need to do some soul-searching and reflection.
Friday, July 20, 2007
A Death Sentence?
I have a friend who was recently diagnosed with cancer. She was devastated. Her world is shattered. Good job. Nice family. Young kids. Prime of life. Loving husband. What does this mean for her? What lies ahead? Pain, suffering and the final appointment with death? How could fate be so cruel.
The thought of cancer sends chills down one's spine. It's almost like a death sentence. Most people think that the diagnosis of cancer as heralding the end of life. It affects the person totally- physical, emotional, psychologically and socially. Fear, anxiety, guilt, regret, sadness, grief- a whole gamut of human emotions. Questions about life- existential questions- why me, why now, what did I do to deserve this, what will become of me, my spouse, my kids?
This is the final path that many of us will walk through since nearly 1 in 4 deaths in Singapore is due to cancer. Despite this gloomy statistic, we can take comfort in knowing that cancer is curable in the early stage. So picking it up early is important. A small lump in the breast, rectal bleeding, sudden lost in weight, etc may be a signal of something amiss.
In our daily 'busy-ness', drowning in work and caring for the family, sometimes we have to sit back and think about our health. I suspect that most early cancers are left unattended because of our preoccupation with work and family.
Work especially can be an important hindrance. Yet we must remember this- when you die, the most affected will be your loved ones. You are the one and only husband, father or grandfather they ever knew. To them,you are irreplaceble. To the employer, on the other hand, they will miss you initially and they'll put up two advertisements- one an obituary for you and another in the classified ads looking for someone to take over your job. So get your priorities right in life.
The thought of cancer sends chills down one's spine. It's almost like a death sentence. Most people think that the diagnosis of cancer as heralding the end of life. It affects the person totally- physical, emotional, psychologically and socially. Fear, anxiety, guilt, regret, sadness, grief- a whole gamut of human emotions. Questions about life- existential questions- why me, why now, what did I do to deserve this, what will become of me, my spouse, my kids?
This is the final path that many of us will walk through since nearly 1 in 4 deaths in Singapore is due to cancer. Despite this gloomy statistic, we can take comfort in knowing that cancer is curable in the early stage. So picking it up early is important. A small lump in the breast, rectal bleeding, sudden lost in weight, etc may be a signal of something amiss.
In our daily 'busy-ness', drowning in work and caring for the family, sometimes we have to sit back and think about our health. I suspect that most early cancers are left unattended because of our preoccupation with work and family.
Work especially can be an important hindrance. Yet we must remember this- when you die, the most affected will be your loved ones. You are the one and only husband, father or grandfather they ever knew. To them,you are irreplaceble. To the employer, on the other hand, they will miss you initially and they'll put up two advertisements- one an obituary for you and another in the classified ads looking for someone to take over your job. So get your priorities right in life.
Monday, July 16, 2007
A Young Life is Snuffed Out
A freak accident. Tragic. A young man with his two colleagues are hard at work on what seemed like an ordinary day at the back of a trailer. The trailer slips down a ramp into a pond bringing along the three men. Two of them escape while one pays with his life- the young man in his twenties from JB. Just another life lost, suddenly and unexpectedly. It's unnatural for one so young to die this way. Such is life- full of surprises. Some nasty, some pleasant but mostly unexpected.
One important thing to do in life is to appreciate those around us, especially our loved ones- spouse, parent, child, friend, working colleague for we do not know what life has in store. Each morning as you go your separate ways- take time to smile, hug or kiss your loved one for you know not when will it be that last goodbye. Life can be cruel at times. Treasure the voice you may never listen to again. Take a good look at the person you love- husband, wife, children.
Do not take for granted the abilities and capabilities that you have- that too may be robbed from you. Don't only walk, run. Don't only talk, sing a tune. Live life to the fullest for this may be your last day walking, talking, laughing, living.
Do good, be kind, be charitable, be compassionate and, above all, love.
One important thing to do in life is to appreciate those around us, especially our loved ones- spouse, parent, child, friend, working colleague for we do not know what life has in store. Each morning as you go your separate ways- take time to smile, hug or kiss your loved one for you know not when will it be that last goodbye. Life can be cruel at times. Treasure the voice you may never listen to again. Take a good look at the person you love- husband, wife, children.
Do not take for granted the abilities and capabilities that you have- that too may be robbed from you. Don't only walk, run. Don't only talk, sing a tune. Live life to the fullest for this may be your last day walking, talking, laughing, living.
Do good, be kind, be charitable, be compassionate and, above all, love.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Kids Have It Tough
Even as I write my first post on this blog, my 2nd daughter is sitting next to me struggling to finish her homework. Not sure what she was doing over the weekend but I think it was homework as well. Just P6. It's Chinese again- her weakest link. She has her Chinese electronic dictionary by her side. She's finally finished. Oops! She's gone down to tell the maid to wake her up earlier- did I hear 5.30am, so that she could finish typing her Chinese compo into the desktop.
It's amazing how much homework a child can receive. Daily, it's a toil to keep up with her homework. Half of them I cannot help her in. They're using 'modelling' for Maths- it's Greek to me. I give her the answer by my own method but that is not good enough, she tells me. Fortunately my wife is good in Chinese but she is working half the time. 'Tuition' is another option but that would mean even less time with the family. She tells me that most of her friends are receiving tuition, most of them sleep late and wake up very early. They have music, they have speech and drama, they have ballet, they have the band, brownies, remedial classes, enrichment classes, etc. etc.
My thoughts are- are we robbing our kids of their childhood? Where is the quality time to bond with the siblings and parents? When was the last time they ever saw a rainbow or even the fluffy clouds in the sky? When was the last time they ever smelled the flowers? Now the main preoccupation is with Neopets, Maple Story, Pokemon, Xboxes, Playstations. The only mushrooms they see are in this programme called Maple Story. They tell me that it is a Korean invention and that there are different levels to achieve. Occasionally they 'meet' friends in Maple Story. One can buy Maple Story cards, posters, water bottle, etc. The other day they made us bring them to Suntec City for this Maple Story event and we spent nearly 3 hours there...and we bumped into people we knew.
It's amazing too to see how our kids' lives have come to revolve around the computer. I guess times have changed since the days of marbles, longkang fish and spinning tops.
It is scary, I'm not sure how our kids will turn out. This is really uncharted territory.
It's amazing how much homework a child can receive. Daily, it's a toil to keep up with her homework. Half of them I cannot help her in. They're using 'modelling' for Maths- it's Greek to me. I give her the answer by my own method but that is not good enough, she tells me. Fortunately my wife is good in Chinese but she is working half the time. 'Tuition' is another option but that would mean even less time with the family. She tells me that most of her friends are receiving tuition, most of them sleep late and wake up very early. They have music, they have speech and drama, they have ballet, they have the band, brownies, remedial classes, enrichment classes, etc. etc.
My thoughts are- are we robbing our kids of their childhood? Where is the quality time to bond with the siblings and parents? When was the last time they ever saw a rainbow or even the fluffy clouds in the sky? When was the last time they ever smelled the flowers? Now the main preoccupation is with Neopets, Maple Story, Pokemon, Xboxes, Playstations. The only mushrooms they see are in this programme called Maple Story. They tell me that it is a Korean invention and that there are different levels to achieve. Occasionally they 'meet' friends in Maple Story. One can buy Maple Story cards, posters, water bottle, etc. The other day they made us bring them to Suntec City for this Maple Story event and we spent nearly 3 hours there...and we bumped into people we knew.
It's amazing too to see how our kids' lives have come to revolve around the computer. I guess times have changed since the days of marbles, longkang fish and spinning tops.
It is scary, I'm not sure how our kids will turn out. This is really uncharted territory.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)