Just after getting married, I lived in a 4-room HDB flat. This was for 10 years. I moved into a landed home some 6 years ago. I have now come to learn a fact of life in Singapore- that there is indeed a divide, a 'great' one at that, between the HDB heartlander and the private housing estate dweller. It is not about wealth or any material thing but something as basic as good neighbourliness. While there were some unpleasantness experienced in the flat, eg dripping mops, cigarette butts, etc (these were rare), life there was mostly congenial. The neighbours were decent and civil- exchanging greetings whenever we met each other whether in the lift or the common corridor. There was a lot of 'giving and taking'- noise, smells, cigarette smoke and what have you. Making that unexpected visit to a neighbour's flat or making appointments to meet at the void deck for a short chit chat was commonplace.
Moving to a private house was something we had always dreamt of for a long time- garden, driveway, not having to wait for lifts, having the postman deliver letters specailly for you, parking right at your doorstep, etc. One thing we didn't consider was the type of neighbours we were to have. What we saw was the ugly side of human nature- unfriendly stares, not even a smile or a nod, fighting over car park spaces, unhappiness over fallen leaves, car scratching, persistently barking neurotic dogs, calling of police for the smallest of reasons...the list goes on. The quietness on the surface belies the underlying animosity. The houses are fortified with 6-feet high walls, resembling fortresses. Neighbours are hidden from each others sight and consciously avoid each other so that you hardly see them getting into or out of their cars, even! Welcome to battleground Singapore. I am sure that there are many such neighbourhoods from hell.
I cannot understand what is to gain for such behaviour. No man can live as an island. We need good neighbourliness for one will never know when one may be in need of help or assistance from one's neighbours. In the past, we could always depend on our good neighbours to collect our mail for us, water our plants, look after our pets, etc (in another country) but now we daren't even look at our neighbours' faces. It's not about being kind or generous, it's really about being a normal human. Aren't we humans intrinsically good? Don't we usually care about our fellow pilgrims on this journey of life? Weren't we taught from young about why we must be kind, helpful, compassionate to others? Has this to do with the stress of modern living that has turned us into rats fighting for survival in this modern jungle? Is Singapore overcrowded? We need to do some soul-searching and reflection.
